The new Ford Capri is the return of a legend... Or is it?

The Ford Capri is a legend. A fun fact about the Ford Capri is that it was a big reason a lot of British kids associated Ford with Britain more than America. Ford's European division for a long time got their cars so right, and I've spoken about this in my other piece about Ford, but if you are an American reader and ever visit Britain, you'll see why.

So what made the original Ford Capri so good?

The Ford Capri was originally meant to bring the ideas of the American pony car over to Europe, and whilst American ideas don't usually work well in Europe (see basically any American sport or basically any American car manufacturer over this side of the pond), the Capri did.

But why wouldn't it? I mean, look at it. Ford managed to make three generations of the Capri, which were things of beauty. Not only did the Capri look good, but it was also a really good car, with nearly 2 million examples sold between 1968 and 1986.

Since it is most relevant to my childhood I'll be talking mostly about the mk3. Capri.

The mk.3 Ford Capri launched in 1978, with beautiful coupe styling and a whopping seven engine variants, starting with a 1.3-liter inline 4 and ending with a 3-liter V6. With the top-spec V6, you got 138 horsepower, 173 lb/ft torque, and a 0-60 of around 8 seconds.

Yes, I know that doesn't sound impressive in an era where every performance car has four hundred thousand horsepower, but at the time in the late 70s, that was a lot, especially combined with its lightweight (1150kg) and its sporty handling (at the time) gave you a truly premium European pony car.

Not only was the Capri a hit with the public, but it was also a hit in British pop culture. It was used in the British action drama 'The Professionals', with the show, unsurprisingly, using the 3-liter model.

So, tell me about Ford's new Capri

Have you ever seen the Polestar 2? It's the Polestar 2, except worse, and also yellow.

The new Capri will produce around 350 horsepower from two electric motors. It can seat five people and has all the modern comforts you, the consumer, would expect.

According to Ford, from a full battery, you'll get 389 miles of range, which really is good compared to rivals in the same segment, you'll get to 60 in 6.4 seconds, which is about average for an EV, especially one with sporting heritage, and you can fast charge your Capri in as little as 26 minutes, in which time I could have filled my petrol car up and driven 24 minutes down the road.

That doesn't sound like a bad car at all, so why does no one like it?

There has been almost no positive reception to the new 'Capri,' and it's no surprise. Ford has clearly been to the Mitsubishi school of bringing a legendary nameplate back (see Eclipse). It isn't the first time that Ford has done this either; you may remember Ford serving up the bland Mustang Mach-E, and this time, even people who wouldn't typically have strong opinions on cars seem to have had enough of the boring, square SUVs car manufacturers keep churning out.

In the current market, we have far too many bland, electric SUV coupes that I care to even try and memorize the names of. I truly believe this lazy attempt at bringing back a nameplate is the straw that has broken the camel's back with the general public. If you scroll through the comments on any of Ford's posts about the new Capri, you won't find any with anything positive to say.

I truly believe that as consumers, it is time for us to stand up and make clear that we don't want any more boring, bland SUVs that no longer have any brand identity or design (apart from the grille and badge) that sets them apart.

So, to you, reader, I ask only one thing. Please, in any way you can, try to pressure car manufacturers into making cars that are interesting and worth writing about and refuse to buy these soulless battery-powered boxes. As fans of cars, let's try to make our passion something that will still be interesting in 20 years.

As a last note, this isn't me attacking EVs because I get why they exist, and I have no problem with most mass-market cars for the average consumer becoming EVs. My opinion is about the total lack of creativity and effort some manufacturers put into modern cars from a design perspective.